


no brakes to my heart at night

by twosetmeridian



Series: counterpoint [twosetviolin oneshots] [12]
Category: Twosetviolin
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bikers, Alternate Universe - Library, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Genderfluid Character, Librarians, Libraries, M/M, Multi, Romance, biker!eddy, genderfluid!eddy, idk what's happening here but yeah sksksksk, librarian!brett
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23633380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twosetmeridian/pseuds/twosetmeridian
Summary: five times brett gets dragged out of a messy situation and the one time it’s the other way around.or: a story where brett is a librarian and falls in love with the same person twice.
Relationships: Eddy Chen/Brett Yang
Series: counterpoint [twosetviolin oneshots] [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560592
Comments: 15
Kudos: 163





	no brakes to my heart at night

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [不羁夜](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27576371) by [asukaJude](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asukaJude/pseuds/asukaJude)



> _→ ig request: (genderfluid!)biker!eddy x librarian!brett_
> 
> title from _outside_ by crush ft. beenzino.

• • •

**[ 1 ]**

brett's known to be a pacifist. when one's a bookish-looking librarian at the public library squatting at the corner of abbey street and wickham avenue, one tends to attract that sort of reputation. timid, skittish, the likes. it does happen.

what everyone doesn't know is that he's actually _not_ a pacifist. he's actually five feet and seven inches of repressed savagery, and right here, right now, with a bullying incident occurring right before his very eyes—in the year of _our_ lord two thousand and twenty? really?—beyond the library's glass doors, brett is pissed.

"hey, assholes," he tells them, watching the two thugs swivel their heads towards him like they can't quite believe he's addressing them. the scrawny kid cowers beneath their feet; that sight of all things pushes brett to continue, fearless. "leave him alone."

and the thing is, he's not exactly a muscle man. years of lugging hundred-paged tomes around have toned his body, but he's nowhere near capable of handling himself in a fight. still, he's not one to let this kind of fuckery slide when he's around, so he stands his ground, resolute in his prodding of the viper's nest. if not him, then who else?

the response, when it comes, is a growl. "whad'ya say, nerd?"

"i said leave him alone and piss off." pedestrian. he feels a headache coming on.

the bullies crack their knuckles none too discreetly, advancing towards him, and brett's halfway backed into the door to grab the lamp right next to the entryway as a weapon, but then—

they stop, halted in their tracks. there's a woman standing there, leaning against a _harley_ of all things, tapping the ground with one steel-toed boot.

(when he looks back on this moment, days and weeks and months after, brett can still identify the exact shade of her eyes, a caramel glint in the sun. it's the color of confidence and a devil-may-care attitude and all the things he's never had.)

(he may have fallen in love with those eyes right then and there, really. it had been incoming since the start.)

"hey. he told you to piss off." the voice is soft but deep, enough to make brett do a double take, thinking someone else had been behind the woman staring daggers at the two men, but there's no one else around. "so scram, before i beat you over the head."

at first, it doesn't seem as if the thugs are willing to obey, but then she produces a bat lined with tiny metal spikes from her bike, and _wow._ brett's almost tempted to run for the hills himself right after the men as they quickly vacate the sidewalk; the boy picks himself off the ground and thanks her before scurrying in the other direction, terrified but grateful.

"suckers. these are plastic, stupid fucks. oh, by the way, i'm edwina." she tosses her hair over her shoulder, blonde strands gleaming in the sun like honey, as she reaches to shake brett's hand. "good job standing up for the kid. didn't take you for the brave defender type." she pauses, a sliver of teeth poking between those red lips as she grins. "no offense."

well, _some_ offense taken, but that smile is doing strange things to brett's equilibrium, so. he simply shrugs a shoulder and dusts imaginary specks of dirt off of his faded corduroys. it looks even more faded now, especially in front of a leather-clad jaw-dropper of a woman.

"you a librarian?" she gives the nametag on his shirt a pointed glance. "tough luck, huh?"

and yeah, he can understand why she'd say that. despite himself, brett smiles, shaking his head in response. "not if i wanted it in the first place."

"oh," edwina says, chastened. she looks him up and down as if seeing him for the first time, and what of it? he's not ashamed of being what he is. this is the part where people usually pin him down with a look of subtle pity, if not outright belittle him.

but then. she laughs, those too-wide shoulders trembling under the leather jacket. approval sparkles in her gaze as she slaps him hard on the shoulder. "that's awesome. you're alright, brett."

and he—he doesn't quite know how to reply to that.

"stay outta trouble, yeah? we need the guardians of our books to be healthy and hale." she waves daintily before she leaves, fingers seemingly too large and too calloused to really be hers, but brett's a little bit too starstruck to ruminate on what that might mean.

he can still see the red of edwina's lipstick painted behind his eyelids, hours later.

**[ 2 ]**

what little research brett's managed to collect from neighbors and friends points to one conclusion: there's a new biker gang in town. it explains the sudden appearance of like a hundred guys wearing riding vests and lines of motorbikes parked on the sidewalks. muscled, bearded men with bandannas and tattooed women in tank tops.

he supposes edwina's part of the gang. it makes sense, since he's never seen her around before. it's a sad thing, when the next logical chain of thought is that she might not stick around the city for long if the gang decides to move on.

so lost in his musings, he's almost too distracted to greet the stranger slowly approaching the counter, wordlessly sliding a colorful piece of plastic across the wooden surface. he mumbles a polite _good afternoon_ at the man, putting away the stack of books in his grasp into a box at his feet. by complete happenstance, brett's gaze falls on the library card in front of him.

 _edward chen_. huh.

he looks up again and peers carefully at the other's face. the man squirms under his gaze, but he doesn't let up, squinting to make sure he'd seen that right. if you take away the makeup and the thick eyeliner and the presumably fake eyelashes and the apparent wig of blonde locks—those are edwina's features. those are edwina's eyes. granted, he has brown hair and glasses now, but this man is edwina. brett opens his mouth to speak—

"it's _eddy_ , today."

—and oh. _oh._ shit. so that's what's up.

he's not one to judge someone so baselessly, so brett forges on, plastering a smile on his face. "right. um." he waves at the shelves behind him in a jerky motion; _great job being cool and casual, brett._ "what kind of book are you looking for today?"

the lines of the man's face are tight, despite the slight smile on his mouth—devoid of lipstick, brett's noticed. "recommend me something?"

"hmmmh. maybe— _catcher in the rye_?"

eddy smirks. "i've read."

"really?" he shakes his head in mock-surprise, revelling in the calm that's finally resettled on the man's expression after he'd introduced himself again. "well then. _1984_?"

" _perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood_ ," eddy quotes, and there's something in the way he says it that seems—vulnerable, for some reason. deeper waters lurking beneath the polished surface.

"i see." brett rummages around behind the counter under the pretense he's looking for more books to recommend. he doesn't think he has it in him to look eddy in the eye for more than three seconds. " _fahrenheit 451_?"

at that, the man visibly perks up. "i've been meaning to read that, but i haven't had time. y'know, with all the motorcycle riding and the traveling and stuff."

"aw. then it's a good thing someone just returned a copy of the book yesterday." brett swipes the library card and types out the information on his computer. "we've been missing all our copies on our shelves recently."

"oh? where's the rest of 'em?"

"westview high's 8th grade reading class."

eddy erupts into chuckles loud enough to get himself shushed once by the nearby table, and damn, but brett feels accomplished at having caused that one little thing.

"here ya go." he slides the book over to eddy and stops himself from shivering a bit when their fingers brush. "let me know what you think of it."

when he really thinks about it, the smile's still the same. that's still edwina's smile, even if the lips are more pinkish than hot red. and maybe that's something different altogether. different, but _good_ nevertheless.

"maybe i will, brett," eddy salutes him, kicking off the first of the many afternoons they'd spend in the library together.

**[ 3 ]**

his parents are fighting again.

when one's a bookish-looking librarian still forcibly slumming it up at the family nest for the last twenty-one years, one's not exactly able to escape the odd commotion that might occur within. try as he might to drown out the noise, the shouts still pierce through the headphones, and he's left with nothing to do but laze around and wait for some peace and quiet, his work lying abandoned on his desk.

_thud. thud. thud._

brett turns his head and raises an eyebrow at the window; those sound suspiciously like tiny pebbles being thrown at the glass. pushing aside any scary thoughts of thieves or possibly ghosts, he moves to the edge of the room and pushes it open. "hello?"

"hey!" there's the familiar voice that may or may not have been staring in his daydreams recently, its owner all clad up in black leather and that glorious blonde wig. "i'm bored. wanna get outta here?"

brett doesn't need to be asked twice.

a few minutes later, he's out of the window, shimmying down the oak tree: a giant, bespectacled squirrel in the dark. he feels like a rule-breaking teenager again, which is kind of sad and a little childish, but _fuck_ if it doesn't make him feel a little dangerous.

maybe this feeling burning low in his gut makes him feel just a little bit closer to the blonde mystery he can't stop thinking about. so sue him.

"safety first," edwina grins, tossing a helmet his way as he approaches her bike. he wraps his arms around her waist, hides the blush on his cheeks where she can't see it reflected on her rearview mirrors, and they speed off into the city streets, a haze of neon lights and crowds and the wild heartbeat of the concrete jungle.

the night doesn't seem all that bad after all.

later, they find themselves at the pavilion looking out into the calm waters of the lake, their legs dangling over the edge. edwina offers to share a cigarette with him; brett sputters as he chokes on inhaled ash, low chuckles interspersing with his coughs. the night air is cool, wind tousling his hair, and the stars twinkle past the urban skyline.

he's never felt more peaceful in his entire life.

"someday," edwina says, pointing up at the sun just barely peeking over the waters, "i'll make my own way outta this life. go where _i_ wanna go, live how _i_ wanna live. no rules, no obligations, no nothing." she takes a long drag of nicotine, the cigarette tucked between her fingers as she quotes the book he's recommended with a self-satisfied expression. " _stuff your eyes with wonder. live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. see the world._ that kind of stuff."

he can't help himself; the question slips out, unbidden. "you'll take me with you?"

she smiles at him, then, smoke curled around her like a lover. he may be a bit of an idiot for being jealous of tiny airborne particles, but at least he's self-aware about the whole thing.

"maybe. if you'll be good."

**[ 4 ]**

so: brett's in a dilemma of sorts. just a little bit. not too much that it disrupts his daily routine, but enough to stop him cold in the midst of reshelving encyclopedias or buying spare light bulbs at the local home depot.

so, again: dilemma. maybe he's not as straight as he'd thought he was. or maybe he always has been, and he's just confused? maybe he really bats for both teams—or only one team? no teams at all?

maybe he's just edward-chen-sexual. fuck, then that just means eddy's ruined him for anyone else.

oblivious to the inner turmoil of brett's thoughts, eddy orders them both coffee and steers him towards an empty table in the coffeeshop just a block away from the library. it's not a _date_ , not really, but it sure feels like it. between tales of eddy's adoptive biker family and brett's warlike household, it's become a safe space to share the parts that make up their lives without any judgment. it's a freeing experience, to say the least.

brett stands up to get them some water from across the room, but then he must've slipped or something, because the next thing he knows, there's a sharp yelp right behind him, and when he turns, it's to the sight of spilt steaming coffee right across the neighboring table and all over another patron's clothes.

"ah, shit," is all that makes it out of brett's mouth before the woman starts screeching, pained and enraged. he's gaping, frozen in inaction, when his companion swoops in to save him.

"sorry about my friend here," says eddy, offering a dazzling grin at the lady, turning on the charm so easily like he'd been born with it. "he didn't mean it. please, let us rectify the situation and buy you another coffee and maybe a slice of cake? here, you can have my coat—nah, don't worry about it; i've got plenty at home."

and here's the kicker, when he thinks about what comes after the realization that he might be in love with edward chen: eddy can have anyone, _anyone_ he so chooses. who's to say he won't just kick brett to the curb for being such a clumsy idiot? with that in mind, he meekly follows them to the counter, pays for everything like he's supposed to, and then waits for everything to settle down somewhere he can try to blend with the wallpaper and maybe disappear.

"you okay?" eddy marches back to him and takes his elbow, cradling it like a newborn. "no coffee burns?"

"y-yeah," brett nods, eyes flicking back and forth between the man before him and the starry eyes trailing in his wake. "i'm good."

eddy wraps a strong arm around his waist as they quickly vacate the area, and that tiny insecure voice in brett's head silences itself. he's been chosen again and again and again—surely that has to account for _something._

**[ 5 ]**

when brett finally snaps and gets himself punched in the face for his troubles, it doesn't feel like it happens out of the blue one day. he's not a pacifist. he's always just been looking for a catalyst as a reason to break free.

edwina's crying, fat tears rolling down her cheeks and smearing her makeup. her wig's a crumpled mess in the dirt. she's being called names by her so-called family: dirty names, indecent names. things a person's never supposed to be compared to. it might just be adrenaline, the pure shock of rage suddenly coursing through his system like an unstoppable river, but when he sees someone about to lay a blow on her, his vision goes red.

"hey!" he jumps forward like a knight in shining armor, except he's nothing but a short bookish-looking librarian with a bone to pick with whoever so much as _looks_ at edward chen wrong.

and that's—not really something he'd be ashamed of.

maybe he gets into a scuffle, or maybe he doesn't, but he does remember screaming: "i _like_ her for who she is and who she chooses to be. she's a woman, he's a man—who gives a shit? if you can't accept her or him or whoever the fuck edward chen wants to be, then you don't fucking deserve to call edwina one of yours."

brett gets an uppercut for his efforts. it's only fair, he supposes.

he can't find it in himself to regret it.

the world blurs for a moment, suddenly hazy with crimson mist. when he finally comes back to himself, they're alone in a side street and edwina's pressing a handkerchief to his bloody nose, her gaze wild. motorcycle horns blare in the distance.

when she speaks, it's ragged and unbelieving. "why did you do that? you could've just said something else like—"

"i didn't want to lie."

their eyes meet, right then and there in the lowlight of a filthy alleyway. edwina's gaze is suspiciously too-bright.

"so. if you have a problem with what i just did, then maybe we can't be friends anymore." he shoves his trembling hands in his pockets, pretends his heart isn't splintering into tiny glass shards scraping against the walls of his chest. "which is a shame. i really _do_ like you."

with that, brett makes his escape, unheeding to the calls that echo after him.

**[ +1 ]**

he's not exactly avoiding edward chen, but it's a very near thing.

brett's not embarrassed about the outburst of feelings he'd laid out a few days before, but he _is_ embarrassed over maybe having overreacted a bit. fuck him and his big mouth for landing him in hot water, he supposes. everyone with a motor bike within a ten-mile radius of the library probably hates him now or something.

so: things are going back to normal, for him. he'll bury himself in work, rebuild the foundations of his world brick by brick, and maybe someday, he'll forget about there ever being an edward chen existing in the world and how the man had been the only person he has and will ever—

_"BRETT YANG, YOU ABSOLUTE MOTHERFUCKER."_

oh, god. brett immediately ducks behind a shelf and looks around.

_"WHERE ARE YOU? COME OUT HERE AND SHOW YOURSELF, YOU BASTARD, SO I CAN TELL YOU I LIKE YOU RIGHT TO YOUR FUCKING FACE."_

ah, _shit._ he clutches his belly, hand clamped tightly over his lips to keep the laugh threatening to bubble out from erupting into the air. absolutely ridiculous.

" _HEY, BRETT YANG. I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE QUIET, BUT I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE. DON'T MAKE ME PICK A FIGHT WITH MRS. TAYLOR RIGHT NOW, PLEASE, AND OH SHIT, SHE'S ACTUALLY CHASING ME, HELP HELP HELP—_ "

brett yanks the man from the aisle into the small alcove he's positioned himself in, pressing his lips to eddy's in an effort to shut him up once and for all. the head librarian breezes past them with irritated strides, unknowing.

a few seconds pass. before brett can delude himself into thinking that moan in eddy's throat had been the result of his imagination, the other man opens his mouth and tilts his head and—

it's lipstick and cigarettes and a taste undeniably, uniquely edward chen's. all he can really do is hold on to the lapels of that damned leather jacket and be kissed within an inch of his life.

"shut the fuck up," brett mumbles lowly into sharp collarbones when they pull apart and he gets pulled into a hug. "this is a _library_ , stupid."

"yeah, i know, but you were hiding," says eddy into the crown of brett's head, because he's an actual idiot. and then: "sorry."

"s'fine."

"i like you."

"yeah, i know." brett smiles wide, probably like a maniac. he doesn't care. "i'm glad."

and then maybe they kinda just stare at each other a little bit like they can't believe they're both _here_ , because they're actually idiots, but no one really gives a shit about that anymore. they're _here_.

" _why is it_ ," eddy says, a little bit breathless, quoting the fucking book that's brought them together like this, " _i feel i've known you so many years_?"

" _because i like you_ ," replies brett, because he knows the steps to this dance, and he's not about to leave his partner hanging, " _and i don't want anything from you_."

he pauses, considers. a sly grin carves itself into his cheeks.

"well. maybe _one_ thing."

and because brett yang is the luckiest motherfucker in the world, eddy tugs at his necktie and kisses him again.


End file.
